PAIN AND PROMISES of one kind or another…

Yesterday (Saturday), Bryce took out the trash. When he came in he said “you have to come with me right now (very excited like a little kid). I took the meat off the grill and followed him outside. There just behind our house, spreading across the storm clouded sky was a full rainbow. It stretched from the top of Las Sendas over to the southeast towards Apache Junction. The wind blew cooler air than I’ve felt since I was in Utah in July and the dark billowing clouds rolled across the sky. Lightning flashed in the darkest gray areas. Tinges of orange and green reflected in the mists of varying gray colored clouds. From the west whiter clouds tumbled into the storm clouds pushing the storm east erasing the sky a brilliant blue. I breathed the clean air in and shook with awe. My eyes teared as I reflected on God’s creations and how wondrous they are, how fortunate I am to live on this beautiful earth. I thought of Noah and the promise God made to him. I thought of his faith, his commitment and his courage. I cried knowing that this rainbow represented the promise of restoration, of life and that I had claim to that promise. I cried because I’m promised blessings if I am faithful. Thank you Noah!

I over trained for the triathlons and continued to work out when I was in pain. I kept on pushing because I really want to shed some fat off of my body! I realize now that it was a mistake to continue working out without figuring out how to deal with the pain. What’s funny, though, is that I am finally getting fit! The pain (of pushing myself hard) and promise (great reward in the results) is like my life. I have so many great and good things to be thankful for, but I also have problems and stresses to deal with that cloud my ability to see the promise that if I work through the challenges, there is a greater reward. My pain is still bothersome, but I’m managing it now and I’m still pushing hard on the fitness plan.

You’d think after having four sons on missions that I would be an expert at studying the scriptures and staying tuned in…but I’m like everyone else and I struggle with the daily commitment to read the scriptures. I do pray a lot. I should name my car ‘prayer bus’, or write a song about driving along talking to God…maybe I will do that! With the start of the new school year I set the goal to rise ½ hour earlier-PAIN- to read and do yoga. I feel strengthened spiritually through my daily connection with the word of God and I am more centered emotionally-PROMISE. Honestly, though, I need to go to bed earlier-I’m just plain tired by 8:00 pm. Setting goals and working through the challenges of change requires strong effort to achieve the goal-PAIN. I’m grateful for the inspiration and revelation I receive because of my efforts-PROMISE.

This next experience is very raw right now. I debated whether to write about it at all, but I need to put my thoughts on paper to process them better. My dear sister, Barbara, suffers from Crohns disease. Just weeks ago she had major surgery and also found out she has Colorectal Cancer. My pain is so inconsequential to hers. Guilt drives my tears frequently down my cheeks as I am overwhelmed at the cross she has born in this life. This dear sister and her husband have served in a Spanish speaking branch for over 5 years. Like Christ she has befriended and loved those who are different, who are in need and who suffer. She is a mother to a wonderful daughter and a grandma to a beautiful baby boy. She is my dear friend and her confidence and love for me is precious. She is strong and I know that she will endure the pain of her illness and treatment. I can only promise to love her, pray for her and care for her as I can. The greater promise is that she will not suffer in the life to come.
Pain and promise. I treasure knowing that through pain we are promised greater blessings.

WHEN KIDS BECOME OUR TEACHERS

July 28, 2010
I grew up in a family of 5 girls and 1 boy. My brother was born after I went away to BYU. My mother was very young-in fact-my mother and I are 18 years apart and my brother and I are 18 years apart-you do the math!  So, my childhood experience was pretty much all things "girly". I remember the adorable ruffled outfits my mother sewed for me and my barbie dolls. She even made me a winter coat with a beautiful fur collar (what? it was the 60's! Jackie O' style!) I felt special. Things got a little crazy at our house when I was a teenager, and being the oldest, I really didn't get to know my two younger sisters because I was too busy driving around in my boyfriends' 67 Ford Mustang and working two jobs so I could go away to BYU. I've been told I was bossy, to my parents and my sisters...but hey, I've changed, right? Anyway, recently my mother told me that all of her daughters have taught her something about life and becoming a better person. Actually, it really means we're all trying to boss her around, still. 
But her comment really caught my attention and made me think. If we can't learn from our children then what was the point? As my children become full fledged adults I have come to treasure their "bossing" or kindly advice. If anyone thought for one moment that I thought I knew all the answers, they were completely fooled. Confidence is action, not truth. It becomes truth when inspired and revealed. Don't confuse those ideas, you'll just get messed up!  I need all the help I can get, so thanks! You can boss me all you want!

SUMMER DRIVING ME CRAZY

I'm going crazy and I'm trying to figure out why, and how?  Could it be that I know which restrooms along the Phoenix to Provo route are the very cleanest? Or is it the mirages I see while driving in the 105 plus temperatures look like Oceanside Beach? Maybe it's the fact that I know the route from Phoenix to Provo so well that I actually fell asleep and arrived home in one piece (just kidding). The truth is I was so tired I let Bryan drive the car, I must be crazy! Could it be the number of horn honks and other vile messages accusing me of erratic driving? Then again, it could be the boxes piled up around my grand piano like an overgrown leggo land display, and the pictures, photos, knick knacks and 'precious' collections piled upon the floor ready to be packed. It couldn't be the fact that I have no idea where I'm living next year, yet hope to know soon, so unsettling! What about the fact that my garage looks like DI? Nevermind the fact that I submitted my first works to some publishers, co-designed my new website (still needs work), kissed the most perfect grandbaby in the whole world, did another triathlon (just the run), currently writing songs for a Garden Program, cleaning out the old and making way for the new...oh yeah, I need to make Elder Kevan Hendrickson some chocolate chip cookies to send next week...anything else? Oh yes dear, I love you, don't forget to take out the trash...please! Who said teachers have the summers off? Either which way or whatever, I'm perfectly crazy!

I have to admit that I didn't mind driving because I totally enjoyed being with my family and I got to hold the most cutest superman baby of all time and snuggle with him...but...I wonder if I sang the song "I believe I can fly.." many many times, over and over and clicked my sparkly red shoes, I could get to Provo in the twitch of my nose!
Keep cool, smile and Be Grateful!